273 sleeps 'til camping if that's what you are talking about BB. 239 to Banff if we go. 64 'til Christmas if the others seem too far away. 3 to Halloween and your yard isn't decorated yet. For camping & Banff I wasn't going to start until New Years day, but if you want it, there it is.
A blog I read regularly talked about the choice of having a child and the responsibilities of raising one. I have always been serious about raising my children and have given it a lot a consideration over the years but I have never ever thought about if I wanted to have children or not. I first found myself pregnant at 16 yrs old. I was not thinking period! Did I want to bring a child into this world & society we live in? Never crossed my mind. Never did the other two times either. I enjoyed the first one so much, and believed (and still do) he was a miracle of a gift to me, I never considered not doing it again and again. I believe in human kind. There are many many more kind, loving people in the world than not.
In this frantic world of gimme, gimme, gimme, there are many responsible parents raising their children to live a different life. I admire them all. It is not easy to avoid getting caught up in the wanting of today's society. I do it every day. I struggle with what I want and what I need every hour of every day. Its in our face everywhere. How do you fight it all the time. I like to buy things for others, for me, for the dogs, it doesn't matter. It makes me feel good. Money means nothing to me, it is a means to an end. I don't care if I have money, and I sure do want to part with it when I get some. I can't keep a balance in my bank account unless its a negative balance.
Then comes the sleepless nights. Then the money matters. Then I cry and wonder how I don't seem to learn my lesson again and again. I have been through many hard times, and have learned many hard lessons, but this one I struggle with again and again. At least 4 times a year I get myself into a situation that I lose sleep over. It always works out and I am better at making choices for a while and then there I am.... again.
Do I have an underlying need I am trying to fill? Do I need Dr. Phil?
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5 comments:
Well, we HEAR YOU, SISTER! I'm guilty too.
I'm sure we all have sleepless nights. Guilt is a powerful thing and Dr. Phil is only going to tell you what you should already know; you should know it if you felt guilty; else why feel guilty. Can't argue with reality went it bites.
Unfortunately history (evolution/survival) has made us what we are today. We naturally put higher priority on going for more, competing against others, and satisfying our hunger at every opportunit in everything we do; eg: passing another car while driving, our appearance (ever walk by a mirror and not notice something you wanted to change.. including fixing a tuff of hair… be honest). Mmmm those donuts sure look good. We are programmed to eat in preparation for the winter/drought. Bigger, better, or nicest birdhouse attracts the mate ensuring genetic survival.
AND HELL IT FEELS GOOD DOING IT ALL. All species that didn't like it (feel good) either died or lost out because the others had bigger toys. If sex hurt, a lot of us would never be born.
It’s always been a frantic world of gimmie gimme. We wouldn’t be here without it.
Your choices in life, those pre-programmed and those made for you make you what you are.
You are BEAUTIFUL and EVOLVED. Feel good and be proud of the things you’ve done. Don’t let the facts of the world around you bring you down. Guilt is often truth, but let the truth be told and hold it in perspective. We are not alone and not the only ones guilty. Learn and carry-on or someone else will take from your plate when your not looking. Survival feels good.
Am I going somewhere? Perhaps I need Dr. Phil or a Blog.
BB.
BB2 here, the niece one...
Wow. I completely agree with BB's response.
Thank you for sharing such wonderful insight!
Monarch, you are an awesome person, a great Mother, and I am without a doubt that you do not have an underlying need beyong those which are human nature.
Our instincts lead us to believe that more is more, the one who dies with the most toys wins, etc...
Who cares as long as you're happy! Do one thing everyday that makes YOU happy. After that, worry about other peoples happiness... as long as you're happy doing that... I say happy a lot, don't I? It just makes me happy that's all...
:) The Brat
The more blogs the better.
Do they (the Blogs) make you happy?
It's nice to vent and see that someone notices. I think this makes me happy, so long as I don't feel quilt over what I say. Oops, quilt equals knowledge of possible wrongdoing. Or… is it, why feel at fault for what others may think or say. Or is it, really the fear of being rejected. We are instinctively herding animals. Safety in numbers. The last thing I want in life is not to be accepted. Or, is it? Sometimes it’s nice to be alone. But being alone too long is not good. Can’t procreate without another. Wait why procreate? Oh yah, because it FEELS GOOD. Any other reason? I guess without it, it would mean the end. Of me? Or my being? Or my essence? The grass, trees, and other species still grow right. Just not there to see it.
HELL, let’s be honest. Who cares! My rambling will certainly drive away any potential fellow herding humans or my mate. What the hell was my point? Couldn’t have been important than, right? Hello? ………. Hello? DAM everyone left.
Oh well, feeling sleepy now. Got to go. Have to sleep due to some evolutionary requirement for period rest in order to prevent burnout.
BB (1.0)
Cheers.
"Oops, quilt equals knowledge of possible wrongdoing"
actually, quilt equals a big fluffy blanket.
Ok, enough of the spelling geek fun. It's funny when our spouses all get together and roll their eyes at our family spending tendancies. I wonder if being on the poorer side of life as kids made us all hoarders now that/when we can afford it? I certainly love to have lots of stuff around me -then once in a while I step back and am disgusted with myself for spending money on things I don't NEED, that could be saved to get something more practical. I'm getting better, J is a big source of inspiration, though I'll never be as good at saving as he is...
sort of a disjointed comment.. sorry, but I have Theya on my lap and she's waking up...
@:^)
@@
-Chair
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